Snarky Sayings That Should Be on a Shirt (And Might Be Soon)

At Red Barn 94, we’ve got a very official creative process:

1. Drink tea.
2. Curse at the printer.
3. Come up with wildly inappropriate sayings that probably shouldn’t be worn in public.
4. Put them on shirts anyway.

Some of our snarkiest shirts have started as little scribbles on sticky notes… or texts we fired off mid-meltdown. So today, we’re giving you a sneak peek at the chaos that could be coming to a shirt near you.

Here are a few sayings we’re playing with — and we want your vote:

👚 “My last nerve has filed a restraining order.”

Because some days your tolerance is in witness protection.

🐢 “On my way to get my shit together... it’s a slow ride.”

Bonus points if you imagine a raccoon on a turtle. Yes, that’s real. Yes, we already made it.

🔥 “Don’t mistake my resting nice face for actual interest.”

For when people assume you’re approachable. Ha. That’s cute.

🫖 “Fueled by caffeine and the tears of the overly sensitive.”

Would also work well on a mug. Or tattooed on your forehead, depending on the day.

🧠 “Mentally checked out. Emotionally unavailable. Still oddly productive.”

Honestly? This one feels like a lifestyle brand.

Now it’s your turn.

Got a favorite from the list above? Drop it in the comments.
Have a snarky saying of your own? Bless us with your brilliance.
We might just put it on a shirt and name it after you (or your chaos — no judgment).

👉 Check out the Snarky Shirt Club
It’s a surprise each month — one snarky shirt, designed by us, shipped straight to your door. No peeking, no choosing, just trust issues and good fashion.